Co-wifeys

Like many other women, I can never imagine my husband with another wife. That's not to say that I don't accept it as a part of Islam. This I know, and will never deny, and I will always support polygyny because of the hikmah in it. And even if I did not see hikmah in it, it is a part of Islam, it is a law made by my Lord, and he is the All-Knowing. Hubbybi jokes sometimes and says he'll never take a second wife because he can't even split his time equally between me and the computer LOL.

Recently, polygyny has been a hot case within the media, and it's a wonder it isn't circling Islam for once haha. So many people are in a uproar, are disgusted by this practice. Now there are several documentaries inside the lives of co-wives. I can't speak for them, but from all I've watched, the majority of them are pleased with their lifestyle and enjoy the company of women who they get along with perfectly. They love that they have an extra hand around the house. They enjoy that they can relax a few nights as the other one is cooking or tending to other chores. They find it humorous that they can discuss their husband's odd ways with another woman yet without exposing him. They love being around their co-wives kids and having a big family. So why are others speaking for them and saying they are unhappy and mistreated? For sure there are definitely cases of polygyny where women are forced into it, are neglected, hate their co-wives, aren't cared for, and are straight up unhappy. But aren't single marriages the same? Single marriage all have these issues as well. Even relationships outside of marriage suffer from these ailments.

Now what really bothers me is the backwardness in a lot of people who reject polygyny. They screw up their faces at a man who takes two wives, he's a womenizer, a beast, a pig. However, if a man is marries and has an affair, it's okay, it's looked at as difficult for him to control his urges. She should forgive him and not leave him. "Everyone is tempted at some point or another" So this makes it okay? Why not have your husband married to a woman and know that he is with her, permissibly fulfilling his desires rather than creeping around your back with the secretary or some other nobody? Or flirting with other women who cross his path? Having mistresses? Who would prefer that? To add in, it irritates me so much that people view polygyny as 'fun' for the husband. What's so0o0o much fun about dealing with two women, meeting all their financial needs, possibly dealing with jealousy and bickering between the two, having to hear both of them nag, having to care for kids by both of them... it's double the work. One extra night with a woman really isn't worth all that headache I'm sure...

And now look at this... I was flipping though channels the other day and saw that there's a reality show featuring Hugh Hefner (founder of Playboy magazine) and his 3 girlfriends. (Seems as though there was once a time when he had 7 at one time) Hmm... it's okay? - even to the point that there's a popular TV show, for a man in his 80's to have 3 girlfriends? Not to mention that he was in his 70's when he took an 18 year old as his 3rd girlfriend. I believe that eldest of his girlfriends is pushing 30 or just hit it. So for him to have 3 girlfriends is okay? Accepted? BUT, if he were to marry them, which is a more acceptable way to be in a relationship with a woman, then he would be committing a crime and being a lewd man? How incredibly, stupidly twisted is that? And if a Muslim man marries a woman maximum 10 years younger than her, he is robbing the cradle. It just makes no sense at all. It's really disgusting how backwards society has become.

I don't even want to watch these specials on co-wives and polygyny because it really is twisted and makes no sense. I really don't know what to say... other than I hope Muslims can stop feeling ashamed of this aspect of Islam and realize there's nothing to be ashamed about. Look at how non Muslims are living their lives, look at what they accept as moral and immoral and look at how senseless their beliefs are. (Okay, duh, not all of them are like this haha) Buttt, yaknowww!!

Humiliation of our sisters

Recently brothers unjustly being held in prisons in Morocco have been starving themselves in hopes that the head figures in the prison will stop tourmenting them.

Woman gathered outside (mostly wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers of these imprisoned men) and demonstrated against the foul way their husbands were being treated. Usually men do not attend these demonstrations because they would be handcuffed and dragged into jail right off the bat.

Recently some sisters were demonstrated, and this is what one of our beautiful sisters had to endure, humiliation in front of everyone from a lowlife shaytaan. May Allah give him what he deserves and elevate this sisters and others like her in this life and the hereafter, ameen.If they are treating the women this way, then imagine what they must be doing to the men inside..







This idiot scumbag threw this beautiful sister to the muddy ground WHILE her child was strapped to her by a baby sling... clearly a heartless shaytaan. Let me remind you, this is "Muslim" on Muslim action!



And despite the misery and hardships of having their male members in jail, these sisters are still steadfast in deen and have kept their hijab and iman intact, and are going out there to fight however they can for their families. These are the ironhearts of our Ummah, takbeer.

NEWS: Principal May Be Replaced After Muslim Presentation

Here's some proof of the ignorance and Islamophobia that exsists in this nation subhanAllah.

HOUSTON -- The Friendswood school district board will meet Tuesday night to discuss the replacement of a principal who invited two Muslim women into her school to teach students about their culture, KPRC Local 2 reported.

The presentation created a controversy in the southeast-side town.

Approximately 800 seventh- and eighth-grade students saw a PowerPoint presentation put together by the Council on American-Islamic Relations just before school on May 22

Asma Siddiqi helped present it. She said it was simply meant to explain Muslim tradition and culture, not to promote the religion.

"I didn't expect people to get upset because, I mean, we were just there telling kids, you know, this is who we are," Siddiqi said. "I explained what the holy book was, which is the Koran."

But plenty of parents were upset, such as Kim Leago. She was angry that she was not told her eighth-grade son would attend the presentation.

"If they're going to squeeze in religion, which is not allowed in school, why did they choose that religion? With the war and everything, I just don't think that was the right choice," Leago said.

Principal Robin Lowe allowed CAIR to make the presentation because a few weeks before, a Muslim student had been bullied and beaten at the school.

But criticism from Leago and other parents, which was echoed on local talk radio programs, resulted in Lowe being reassigned.

That move upset parents who believe Lowe was made a scapegoat. Both sides will tell it to the school board Tuesday night.

http://www.click2houston.com/education/16562511/detail.html

So parents are more concerned that people came to the school to teach the kids what Islam really was, rather than the fact that a child was bullied and beaten up in school because of his religion? Now that's just sad. We're talking about the safety and well being of children here! What are these people so afraid of? It saddens me how people take small matters and totally blow them out of proportion- just like last week or so and the Rachel Ray in a 'kifayah' in a Dunkin Donuts add.... calm the heck down losers... it's REALLY not that serious!

A lot of times Muslims are blamed for being 'antisocial' and not educating their communities about Islam- which is partially true. But in many cases when we do stand up and try and inform people of who we are and how we too are just people tryna get by in life, they take it and flip it into us trying to convert or brainwash them. It's like no matter what we do, we'll be attacked. This is the time we live in... and yet I always like to keep in mind... we are still growing as a faith. Despite all this nonsense... Islam is gaining more and more followers everyday, walhamdulillah.

Dhikr Beans

Yes, dhikr beans, not beads! Yesterday when pulling into the masjid parking lot on our way for Jumu'ah salah we saw a hearse easing it's way into a parking spot. Inna lillahi wa inni 'alayhi raji'oon. I walked into the masjid and saw the expected band of sisters sitting against the wall making dhikr, using beans to count as they went along.

A long white sheet was spread on the ground and numerous piles of kidney beans laid scattered atop. 1 pile for the subhanAllahs, another for the alhamdulillah, another for the Allahu akbars, and so on... Of course the piles stand for different things depending on the family and what practice they're used to.

I prayed my 2 raka'at of tahiyyatul masjid and sat in the back against the wall to wait for the khutbah to begin, we were about 20 minutes early though. So a sister comes up to me with a plate of beans and asks me to join on board the 'subhanAllah' team. I kindly refused and told the sister I'd prefer to make du'a for the deceased. She looked at me and pushed the plate into my face and said, "Someone just died, can't you take some time out to pray for them?"

I responded, "Yeah, but I prefer to make du'a." I was trying to find a polite way to maybe tell her that their method in 'praying' for the dead was empty, an odd innovation which would only bring barakah to themselves, but nothing came to mind so I just stayed silent and smiled at the sister and said to her, "May Allah bring ease to your family in such a hard time and may He have mercy on the deceased!" She raised and brow and walked away to the head bean counter and told her that I didn't want to use the beans.

After a minute or two the entire group of women turned and stared at me, clicking their tongues, shaking their heads, and whispering. Great- despite their mourning they can still take the time out to gossip about me. I looked down and tried to avoid eye contact with them despite feeling their eyes burning through my skin.

One of the younger girls in the group came up to me and silently sat down. After a few minutes she turned and asked me, "So you're just sitting here anyway, why can't you just make some zikr for my family?"

I turned to her and said, "In my opinion, I don't think that's a valid way to pray for someone who died. I personally never ran into any hadith where the Prophet (SAW) informed us to do that. So I think just quietly sitting and making du'a for them is the best thing to do. That's just my opinion."

So she gave me the answer I anticipated, "My family and all Muslims have been doing this for centuries, what makes it wrong?"

I repeated myself, "I'm just telling you my opinion, you know? I believe what I believe, and you believe what you believe."

"Well, whatever then. We're perfectly right." And she gets up and goes back to the group and of course tells them what I said.

Man!! I go to Jumu'ah (for the first time in 8 or 9 months, since the end of my pregnancy) and this is what happens? This is what's going down in the masjid on a blessed Friday? Ughh

The khutbah begins and I shake off the stares and try to focus on what the khateeb is saying despite the clinking of the beans. Okay, you're supposed to not do ANYTHING during the khutbah, not even reply to a persons salaams or hush them if they're making noise!

Well, the khutbah ends and salah is about to begin. One of the sisters asked the 'mourners' to fill in the gaps in one of the front lines and they all refused saying that they were too sad to make salah. WHAT?! So an elder sister goes up to them and asks, "So ALLof you can't pray..?"

One of them answers for the group and says, "No we can, but we are just too sad, too sad. We will watch."

"Your sadness is no excuse not to pray. The best thing you can do at this time is ask Allah to give them ease and not to forget yourself, not to forget your prayers." She received blank stares and the Imam said, ALLAHU AKBAR.

***

I wonder when this odd cylce of bean counting, grave worshipping, and masjid gossiping will end! It seems like an ongoing cycle that's being passed along to the next generation. It's very sad, I wish people would look more into their practices and be open to constructive criticism. Sometimes no matter how nice you try to be or how much you try and word something the right way, people still take it as something negative or flip it into something bad. Through criticism we will better ourselves, this is one the major ways we can do so. Even the most feared and 'fierce' of men, Umar ibn Khattab (RA) was corrected by a woman! Come on, the shaytaan would run in the opposite direction when this man came walking, subhanAllah! So who are we? Are we really tough? Are we really big shots where we have to be looking down on others and their suggestions rather than being the true bigger person and accepting our flaws? *sigh I await this time, and until then, I'll continue to make du'a for it inshaAllah