Alhamdulillah, I see a lot of younger sisters now pushing to get married earlier for fear of falling into sin. However, for some reason people take the label of 'fiance' and think it actually means something. It really doesn't. All it means is that this person will, inshaAllah, marry you and you've made promises/plans to do so. Other than that, they are still your non mahram up until the nikaah takes place. You treat him just as any other random Muhammad walking into the masjid. You can't chill with him, talk on the phone with him, even go out in groups with this person... no touching..nothing. Prior to the engagement surely you've spoken to this brother with your mahram present, getting to know him and considering him for marriage. Once you're engaged, khalas, you've considered and accepted him and there shouldn't be much need to get to know him more through speaking to him, because if you need to get to know him more, maybe you rushed into the engagement. From then on the only thing you may need to discuss are arrangements for the wedding.Unfortauntely I see many sisters, most who have in the past shown clear understanding of fiances not being mahrams, driving alone in cars with their fiance, out smoking hooka with their finace, or hanging out at restaurants with them, sitting and posing side by side too. Just because other males/females are there with you, doesnt make it okay to go out and hang with him, especially if you're being social and giggling and laughing and flirting. What makes me even more confused is some of these sisters say, "It's okay, my cousin was there." YOUR COUSIN'S YOUR NON MAHRAM TOO - even if you don't plan on marrying him!
I understand there's a huge rush of emotions knowing that this is the man you will inshaAllah marry and spend the rest of your life with... but for now he is just a promise and nothing more. Please don't wear your heart on your sleeve and get so involved beforehand, because a lot of time this sets up false and high expectations which after marriage you realize those expectations will not be met. Please don't fall into the trap a lot of brothers and sisters get into with communicating with one another. This also makes it very difficult on people trying to get married but their parents disapprove. They feel so connected with this person and it causes much fitnah in the family because of the 'relationship' you had beforehand with this brother.
Indeed it's difficult to act like this person is no one special. Of course he is! But this is also why its best to not wait months or years for the nikaah to take place after an engagement because it makes things difficult between the intended partners.
Your finace is your non mahram, engagements are more easily broken off than marriages are. The nikaah puts the seal on your relationship and after that you can talk as much as you want without fear or worry of sinning. And then soon enough you'll start getting tired of hearing this person speak =p haha
Oh, and don't even get me started on engagement parties/ceremonies where they're sitting side by side decked out in front of dozens of people touching one another and putting rings on each other... blah..
May Allah make it easy on all of us, ameen!
