
I teach 4th grade at the local masjid's Sunday school alhamdulillah. I recently got permission by the administration to sell my halal Skittles and candies there during the kids recess and snack time.
After Dhuhr salah when I put my huge bag of Skittles down to put my boots on a sister in her early 30's comes up to me.
"Sister, I'd think by the way you dress - " *points to my niqaab*
" - that you'd know Skittles are haram!! How can you bring those into a Masjid?"
"These are halal Skittles... what does my clothing have to do with candy... " *fake giggle*
"I mean, you dress super religious so from that you should know these things. But Skittles are haram you should check the ingredients, there's pig in them. You know here in the US we have to be very careful of what we eat, there's all types of things in these foods.."
"Yeah, you're right.." I tell her thinking if she only knew I had a blog dedicated to halal and haram products! haha.
"These are halal though, they're gelatin-free," I told her.
"No they don't make them halal!!!!! They all have PORK! You know, PIG! You're not listening!!"No! YOU'RE not listening! I was getting irritated... mainly because she was getting loud with me and in front of other people, and her own kid!
"Actually, the ones made for the US contains BEEF gelatin, not pork. These are made specifically for the Middle East, they don't even have at least halal gelatin in them, they are gelatin free... they use vegetable substitutes."
She looked at me confused,
"No I don't think so!"
"... And in the UK their Skittles used to be halal as well, they were Vegan-friendly until they started using E120 in them, a coloring taken from insects..."She stared at me blankly.
"Oh.. well.."I went into the bag and handed her a pack,
"See, read the ingredients..."
She read them and nodded and handed the pack back to me, "
Hmm.. well... I'll have to look into that... something's not right."
?!?!?!?!?! Why do people have to ALWAYS be right even when the proof is right in their face! She looked at me as if I created the wrapper myself and filled haram Skittles inside! haha. Why can't people just admit when their wrong?
I just hate when people look at niqaabis or any other Muslimahs and based off the way she dresses assumes the sister is, or at least thinks she is, a perfect Muslim or know it all. Not only that, but they jump at them when they think they see something wrong. It's sad when people get all nasty and think they're so smart and try to make someone look bad in front of others. This isn't Islamic at all.
Allah knows best her intentions, but if she really wanted to give me 'naseeha' regarding the Skittles she wouldn't have told me in such a demeaning manner in front of so many people and kids. Not only that, she wouldn't have been rude when I tried to explain myself either, cutting me off and not listening.
Some people like to right wrongs just to show they're right. Please think twice when you think you see something wrong and try to give someone advice. Be sure to be gentle with them and pull them aside. Don't be harsh and ridicule them in front of others. First investigate the situation before assuming the worst of the person. It doesn't matter how a person is dressed, everyone still has learning to do and everyone is in need of help once in a while.
I don't know the source of this story, if it is true or not, but indeed it holds a good lesson inshaAllah and I just thought of it as I was explaining how we should give naseeha... here's the jist of it...
Once the grandsons of our beloved Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam, Hasan and Hussain, radiAllahu anhuma, saw an elderly man making wudu. After watching him they realized that he was making wudu incorrectly.
The two brothers wanted to correct the man, but didn't know how. He was older and they didn't want to offend him, being so young and correcting him. They came up with an idea of how to teach the man proper wudu without being direct.
They went over to him and told him they were in a disagreement over who performed wudu the best and they wanted him to be the judge.
The bedoin watched the two kids perform wudu, and in watching, he himself came to learn his mistake(s). He thanked them and told them that he did not know the proper way to make wudu until the two of them had come over and showed him, subhanAllah.MashaAllah this is the way to give naseeha. It is not an easy thing to do. As open as we should be to constructive criticism, it is only understandable that a person may take offense to being corrected if it's not done in a gentle manner.
Just imagine how I would have felt if I did have haram Skittles? It already upset me the way she spoke to me even though I wasn't doing anything wrong. I would maybe even be mad and probably close my heart to her naseeha anyway. That of course wouldn't be the right thing to do, but as humans these are tendencies we do unfortunately have.